found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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