her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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