I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize