What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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