Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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