I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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