It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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