This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
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The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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