How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize