Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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