I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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