morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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