And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
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I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
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he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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