Swine flu. Run for my life!
i will never coherently bang her
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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