yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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