Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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