i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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