I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize