I didn't shave. On purpose
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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