I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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