hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I will be naked everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize