Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize