It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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