none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize