You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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