I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
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His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
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Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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