why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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