I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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