Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize