I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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