they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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