i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
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watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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