She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
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woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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