we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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