I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize