I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize