Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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