I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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