Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize