Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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