I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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