This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize