So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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