I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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