Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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