You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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