Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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