we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize