His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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