she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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